Perfect Summer Day Poem
Our only savior
from the sun’s
burning heat
is the ice-cold,
turquoise sea.
We lay
on the sparkling,
white beach,
listening
to the waves
collapse
over the sand.
We are born again:
happy,
free,
relaxed.
What I liked about my poem is the last sentence because it describes exactly how I feel when I hear the ocean. If I had written down details or feelings about my perfect summer day before I actually started writing the poem, then it would have been easier to remember and write down how my perfect summer day was. So, I might do that next time I write a poem about a past memory. After revising my poem, it had changed a lot from the first draft. In my rough draft, there were more sentences , but I decided to eliminate them since the poem sounded better without them, and they didn't help describe my emotions. I changed the adjectives and verbs to ones that were more interesting, understandable or more precise, too.
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